Let it go

While I’m crawling on the path of learning how to live normally, I can only say one thing: there are things I will never understand and « living without thinking about my condition » is definitely one of them. In a attempt of taking care of myself and embracing change, I went to my hometown hairdresser and got a bright new haircut. And not only have I hit two birds with a.. Read More

Welcome to Dizzyland !

Why is it that lately I’m all thoughts but no acts. My head can’t stop thinking while there is very little i’m able to do. I can’t stop analyzing, decorticating, thinking extensively day and night, awake or asleep (or at least that is how it feels), while my actual motivation level is way above zero! My brain does not want to rest and thus my body does not feel like.. Read More

Girls! They want to have fun – Part two

This one is about thinking you found someone who actually understands how hard it is and you discover that No, not happening! All the compassion and understanding part was just so I could accept the advices and boosting techniques that would follow. I know that it sounds pretty pretentious and that I should be happy that someone cares about me but just like with family, I am tired to constantly.. Read More

Girls! They wanna have fun

Girls, just wanna, they wanna have fun… I love these lyrics so much that I couldn’t help it but move my head to the rhythm. (I can’t really move something else though..) However, I din’t think that I would have to move myself from the Girls! list so soon. I officially can’t consider myself as a « Girl who just wanna have fun » anymore. The reason: too tired and in agony… Read More

Be normal or die trying

One of the moments I apprehend the most is « family time ». Not that I don’t like being around my beloved ones but I kind of find it hard to be myself, especially now that being sick is part of being myself too. I have been sick or tired so many times around them that now the « poor baby we will take care of you » has switched to « Sick again? Come.. Read More

In your head

It’s been few weeks (or more maybe) that I didn’t take a single look at this blog. Not that I have been incredibly busy or something but I just felt like I had nothing to share, nothing to tell about. The truth is that here I am now, trying desperately to put words on my feelings but still not convinced that my experience is worthy enough to be shared. Some.. Read More

Here comes the bride – Part two

My hubby and I are finally ready to show up to the wedding. Even though it is hard to walk with high heels while ignoring the pain that has been embracing my foot for so long I might as well call it family, it makes me feel a little bit more confident, feminine and pretty. I put a little more effort to hold my head high and my back straight (it.. Read More

I like to move it move it

Why? Why is it so hard to start a new life? Moving to a new city? Starting a new job? Why is it so hard to start? For years now, I have been dreaming about my own home where I could live happily ever after with my man. A cosy place where everything is chosen, made or fixed the way I want. A place under only one jurisdiction, mine. Though.. Read More

Pills won’t help you now – Part two

When I look into my side table drawer, I see everything but a twenty-six years old’s side table. Two books that I will eventually finish up reading, a medium-sized case with drugs for practically everything that I am proud to not use as often as it may suggest; a spring water spray, a pen, the last enlightening invention I recently acquired during the international fair of Paris (a TENS* device created by.. Read More

Pills won’t help you now

I should probably take my pills. I need to take whatever is going to help me not hate the world around me. It’s been few weeks after my doctor prescribed me some medication depression and I still haven’t open the bottle yet. I am waiting for the best time to start taking them and it is quite never the right time! Everyday I say to myself, you should have started.. Read More