Why is it that lately I’m all thoughts but no acts. My head can’t stop thinking while there is very little i’m able to do. I can’t stop analyzing, decorticating, thinking extensively day and night, awake or asleep (or at least that is how it feels), while my actual motivation level is way above zero! My brain does not want to rest and thus my body does not feel like doing its job. If I had to put a name on it, it would be « syndrome of restless brain » and please don’t tell me it already exists or… please tell me, it might actually help… See? that is what I’m talking about.
It seems like my brain is overthinking everything at a point that I can’t even make simple choices or draw virtual decision-trees in my head to help me decide. Could it be a burnout? a malfunction of adrenal glands? (happened few times before) or is it just my brain trying to compensate for my body’s inactivity? though, this last possibility looks a little bit silly now that I have wrote it.
If only I could put all these thoughts on paper, or screen. I would have been at my third novel or my two-thousand and four hundred’s blog article, which would have helped feel better and definitely more productive but it certainly doesn’t work this way, otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to complain about.
I’m mentally dancing in a parade in Dizzyland while in reality, not only my feet but nearly half of my body is stuck to the ground. In other words, I just don’t get it and when is it going to last? I miss the last time I felt nearly normal or at least didn’t wonder what day it was, twice a day. That said, I finally think I’ll keep putting the blame on overthinking. I know it doesn’t seem like I’m doing a lot but a lot is happening in my head and it simply makes me unable to answer all of my phone calls and still do home chores at the same time. It does accentuate my reputation of being too distant and self-focused but what can I do? My brain wouldn’t let me do anything else and my body is taking a rest. Just GET USED TO IT (and let me know how you did 😉 ).
K.
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