Staying alive

As long as I remember, I have been depressed. Or maybe it is my depression telling me so. I used to think that it would eventually go away but now I definitely don’t think so. Some would say it’s pessimistic or even why I can’t get better. I call it being realistic and conscious of my own limitations. I used to look for reasons to be depressed and overtime, I.. Read More

It’s not right but it’s okay

It is no secret that my secret is that I have Fibromyalgia. I am living with an invisible, chronic illness that is beating me up while pretending otherwise. To the eyes of people, I am too young, too lively, too good looking or even too faithful to be sick (I know, I’ve heard it all). Therefore, I can do nothing else but pretend to be okay when I’m around them. Why?.. Read More

You’re in pain … So what ?

Did suffering from chronic pain made me have less or more empathy toward other people’s pain ? This question is definitely not an easy one. Not easy to answer nor even to ask. We already know that one of the two options isn’t easy to admit but I think that it is crucial to try to answer this question. So let’s talk about my personal experience, on a first person basis to.. Read More

Did you say flare ? I heard care

When diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year, I didn’t know much about the sickness itself but I had a clue about what « chronic illness » meant. As far as I could remember, it meant that no insurance would actually pay for my medical fees and that I probably wouldn’t be able to play outside with my friends whenever I wanted. That was twenty years ago and throughout the years, I have learned.. Read More

The Shepherd and the Wolf

On many occasions, I talked about the inconvenience of attending family reunions and social events. (Blame it on #Fibromyalgia, Girls! They wanna have fun or Here comes the bride … ) Okay let’s face it; it represents 90% of what I’m talking about or should I say, complaining about. It is hard to confront the people you love the most (and probably hide the most from too), when your energy level is at a new.. Read More

Blame it on #Fibromyalgia

Remember the decision I made about not talking to close ones about my illness ? I never made the presumptuous assumption that this decision wouldn’t bite me in the a** at some point, but to be honest I didn’t think that would happen so quickly. I naively thought that I would have enough time to figure out how to deal with holidays, funerals, family gatherings and birthdays without becoming a.. Read More

You’re not a blogger until someone says you are!

Since the beginning of this adventure called « blogging about what I don’t know yet », I did not think that real people might actually be interested in what I have to say. It was more of a way to exorcise my internal pain and learn to put words on How I feel. An e-journal that is published online but still not interesting enough to be read by others. To be honest,.. Read More

Should we break the internet to talk about #Fibromyalgia ?

When I first started doing research about fibromyalgia I found myself engaged in a disturbing infinite loop. How can I be so disappointed that so few people (including health professionals) know about this condition when I, myself, only knew it existed the day I have been given an exclusion diagnosis. Though you do imagine my surprise when I first googled fibromyalgia… Not only it is real but millions of people.. Read More

Do what you love or love what you do

Do what you love or love what you do! hmm interesting but still not there. First let me ask you about the context of this inspirational quote. Does it concern your job or can it be applicable to other matters? and yes only a jobless person would ask this question. Putting aside the real definition of a job as I strongly consider that being a Mom for example, is definitely.. Read More

Let it go

While I’m crawling on the path of learning how to live normally, I can only say one thing: there are things I will never understand and « living without thinking about my condition » is definitely one of them. In a attempt of taking care of myself and embracing change, I went to my hometown hairdresser and got a bright new haircut. And not only have I hit two birds with a.. Read More